The 8 Tough Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Leave Your Relationship

Let’s ground the process in logic.

Hi there,

If you’re invested in a relationship — and maybe even have a shared home or kids — I really do recommend that couples try to work through issues before separating. That way, even if the relationship can’t be saved, they each know they put in everything they could. It doesn’t dull the heartbreak, but it does help us leave with more peace of mind. 

There are major exceptions. If you are compromising your wellbeing or safety or facing any kind of abuse, there is absolutely nothing for you to try to improve. You can walk away and prioritize yourself and save yourself. There’s nothing to try to fix.

But today, we’re talking about making the difficult decision to leave something that’s not awful, but it’s not really working, either. And when we’re faced with the difficult decision of whether to stay or go, it can feel almost impossible to apply logic and reason. Our emotions understandably take over.

I’ve put together my 8 questions I always ask couples when they are deciding to separate or work through it, and they require self-reflection, bravery, and honesty. 

Let’s dive in.