Choose the Right Partner
Protect your peace.
Hi there,
Who you choose as a partner is not a trivial decision.
Arguably, it’s the most consequential decision you’ll ever make for your happiness, your mental health, and even your professional fulfillment.
Your partner will affect your nervous system, your choices, your sleep, and your beliefs. A great partner doesn’t just share in your life; they amplify it. They create emotional safety, which fuels everything from your creativity to your resilience.
Insecure relationships, by contrast, are draining. They keep you in a low-level state of vigilance. They take your focus off your goals and place it on survival — trying to be enough, trying not to set them off, trying to decode their emotional states.
You can’t thrive in this kind of environment.
A secure partnership gives you the space to be vulnerable and the support to be brave. It’s not perfect — it still requires work, compromise, and forgiveness, but it doesn’t feel like a war against yourself. Real love isn’t a rollercoaster. It’s a grounding force. It feels safe.
But most of us weren’t ever taught just how profoundly who we choose as a partner affects every area of our lives.
We were taught to look for love — for chemistry, butterflies, that magnetic pull. We were taught to find someone who completes us. To believe in “the one.”
But we were not taught to consider whether that person regulates their own nervous system. Whether they take responsibility for their behavior. Whether their presence brings us safety or instability.
It’s not just whether you’re in a relationship that matters. It’s whom you’re in one with, and how that relationship functions on a daily basis. And a primary goal of my work is to demystify relationships so that each person I reach can understand how to choose better. I’ll also get into some green flags that don’t get enough credit — and can help guide your choices.