From Insecure to Self-Worth: How To Regulate and Let Go

5 more lessons for self love

Hi there,

Last week, I laid out my first four radical lessons in self-love — the critical steps you can take to finally give yourself the love and care you deserve. I’m back with five more lessons about treating yourself better — and they also cover showing up better in relationships, so you can have the healthy, mature love you’ve been looking for.

Each lesson comes with tough questions, journal prompts, or a somatic exercise. And as always — I want to hear from you.

Let’s get into it.

5. Give yourself permission to move on and love again.

Love always comes with risk, and there is nothing any of us can do to fully inoculate ourselves from the chance of pain. The love of your life could die of old age or in a car accident — or they could evolve into a person you no longer recognize. You might get betrayed or hurt or heartbroken, and you might have to grieve. I know it sounds scary and dark, but it’s a reality we need to face. Love should feel safe and nothing is permanent. That’s the paradox.

If you’ve been through heartbreak enough times, you might want to throw in the towel on love. I get it — I truly do. If you’ve been burned so many times, the risk might not feel particularly worth it. But at your deepest core, I’m betting you’d rather have loved and lost than no love at all.

It’s easier said than done, but let’s take a look at how the story you tell yourself about your past relationships — or even a specific ex — might be imprisoning you and keeping you from moving on.