I had to forgive myself.

Why did I accept such ugliness?

Hi there,

When people leave one-sided, emotionally draining relationships, they most often feel overwhelming relief. They’re free from the trap of settling and released from the endless yearning and hope that the wrong person will somehow become the right fit.

But amid that relief is something else: shame. They tie themselves into knots asking why they let it go on for so long. Why they settled. Why they didn’t fight for themselves. And the shame and regret can overpower them. It can trap them, just like their relationship — or “situationship”  did.

We need to talk about self-forgiveness — especially after situationships and toxic relationships — but also after any breakup where we can see our part in the breakdown of our partnership. I want to share with you my own experience of confronting my behavior and forgiving myself — for accepting less than I deserved, for being dishonest to people I loved, and for treating myself badly. For being a messy, flawed human.