If I don’t like myself…

How can someone else love me?

Hi there,

This week, I’m answering a question that many of us struggle with. She writes:

I’ve struggled with liking myself my whole life. When I was a kid, I always felt like I couldn’t keep up with my friends. They were prettier, smarter, more talented…the list goes on.

I think I’m a nice person, but I don’t really see what I have going for me. Sometimes I genuinely think my husband married me because he felt badly for me. I know that’s crazy, and he tells me it’s not the case. He tells me he wishes I could see what he sees. But I can’t.

The thing is, I am totally haunted by #girlpower self-help that says “You can’t love anyone else until you love yourself.” I know there’s some truth to it, and that I’m holding myself back from being a totally present partner. My husband deserves better, and some little part of me thinks I deserve better, too.

I’m trying to learn to love myself — or at least like myself. How can I start to see that I’m not the failure I think I am — and maybe start to like myself?

It’s an important question — and one that I not only get asked a lot but is also a source of great debate on social media. Can we love other people if we don’t love ourselves? More specifically, can anyone love us if we struggle to like ourselves? Let’s get into it.