Stop Analyzing The Emotionally Unavailable Person

Start choosing yourself.

Hi there,

One of my most shared posts says: People spend too much time analyzing the unavailable person and not enough time walking away from them.

The response to that post told me everything. So many of you are exhausted. You’re confused. You’re stuck in loops with people who can’t meet you emotionally. And you’re trying to decode them instead of choosing yourself.

Let’s slow this down and get clear.

Emotional availability is what creates emotional intimacy. It’s the willingness to be seen and to see someone else. It’s openness. It’s reciprocity. It’s empathy. It’s the ability to build safety and trust over time. It’s not trauma dumping on the first date. It’s not constant emotional processing. It’s a willingness to go deeper as the connection deepens.

When someone is emotionally available, they respond to your vulnerability with curiosity. They share themselves gradually. They don’t create distance every time closeness increases.

When someone is emotionally unavailable, you feel it.

The connection stays on the surface. Conversations don’t deepen. When you try to go there, there’s a block. You feel confused. You start wondering if they’re really into you. You feel them pull away when things begin to get more serious.

Here’s what’s important: emotional unavailability is not always about trauma or avoidant attachment. Sometimes it’s much simpler.

And this is the part people don’t want to hear…