The Truth About Limerence

Why you can’t stop obsessing about them

Hi there,

Limerence is everywhere — including in my DMs and email inbox. I hear you: It’s on your mind and, in some cases, it’s wreaking havoc on your lives.

Limerence is that uncontrollable obsession with another person — that intoxicating, crazy-making, manic stage at the very beginning. It’s infatuation with an extra dose of intensity. It’s a buzzword these days, but it’s not new — it’s been around forever.

When I say that it’s crazy-making, I mean it: Limerence can turn us upside down. (The ancient Greeks even considered it a mental illness!) It’s the crush that crushes our sanity — and who hasn’t been crazy in love? No wonder it’s everywhere.

Limerence might have a grip on you if you’re the person who keeps falling in love on the first date. Maybe you’re the person who can’t stop obsessing about an acquaintance and you try not to watch their stories too quickly. It’s many of us.

But while limerence is extremely common, it’s not love. And if you’re struggling with the limerence/heartbreak cycle, you can get yourself out.

I want to break down limerence’s intoxicating grip, unpack the unexpected reasons you’re prone to it, and provide a pathway out.

Let’s get into it.