When they want an open relationship — and you don’t.

"Am I just not open-minded enough?"

Hi there,

In recent years, we’ve seen all kinds of new approaches to relationships, including the rise of non-monogamy. There are many ways to love, and non-monogamy is the structure that makes sense for certain people, allowing them to live and love authentically.

But I’ve seen a disconnect over the past few years that doesn’t get enough attention: When one partner wants to open things, but the other isn’t on board. Navigating this disconnect is uncomfortable, and it forces us to face hard truths about ourselves and our partnership. There are moments in a relationship when a fault line reveals itself, and there’s no going back.

This week, I want to answer the question I’ve been asked over and over: What happens when one partner wants an open relationship and I don’t? Is it bad to want to stay monogamous?

Let’s get into it.