When Your Life Is Not What You Thought It Would Be

Here's what to do

Hi there,

Each and every one of us develops a life blueprint. It’s a combination of your beliefs, values, rules, and expectations about how life should be — and how your life is supposed to turn out.

It’s a human inclination. It’s natural.

We have blueprints for love and family: I’m going to get married by 28 and have two kids.

We have blueprints for our friendships: We’ll get pregnant at the same time and our kids will be best friends.

We have blueprints for money and for our careers. For the house we’ll buy one day, and we even have blueprints for our health.

You didn’t pull your blueprint out of thin air. All of our blueprints are connected to our values, our conditioning, how we were raised, and our belief systems. And for most of us, our blueprints are tied to our concept of good — a good home, a good family, a good life.

Our blueprints tell us that they are the only paths to happiness. Without following our blueprint, we won’t ever find contentment or peace.

But the reality is that most people’s lives do not end up exactly following the blueprint. And most of us have to sit with the knowledge that our lives did not turn out like they were supposed to.

Divorce definitely wasn’t in my blueprint. Neither was a miscarriage or losing my mom so young. I’ve had to deviate from my blueprint many times over and let go of the expectations I had for my life.

It’s easier said than done. It’s a process that involves grieving your expectations, challenging your beliefs, and making room for more possibility.

Today, I want to give you the tools you’ll need to be resilient when you face the tremendous loss of your expected life. When you’re faced with a life that doesn’t follow the hopes you’d held onto — and when you don’t have the things you thought you would. I want to help you cope — and find healing on the other side.