Why You Can't Let Them Go

Even though they’re emotionally unavailable.

Hi there,

You meet someone who is different. They’re present. They ask you questions and are actually interested in your answers. They share parts of themselves without hiding behind a mask. There’s connection. A sense of safety. And a feeling of being seen.

We know that this doesn’t happen often.

Most people are either completely disconnected or performing a version of themselves they think others want to see. We’re living in a culture where people are starved for meaningful connection while simultaneously terrified of vulnerability. So, when you meet someone who appears emotionally available, it activates something deep in your body.

Of course, you feel excited about them. Of course, you start to bond. This is a normal human response to felt safety and connection.

Then you see them again. You sleep together. And in that space, they’re fully present - attentive, connected, and generous. They seem to want closeness. You feel chosen in a way that registers as significant and rare.

And then… everything shifts.

They withdraw. They become distant. Communication becomes inconsistent, and the energy changes completely. It’s confusing. It’s painful. And it’s one of the most disorienting experiences in modern dating.

So what should you do?