Five Things I Wish I Knew Before I Married the “Wrong” Person

What I would tell my younger self.

Hi there,

There are moments in life when we wish we could go back and whisper to our younger selves. Not with judgment. Not with shame. But with tenderness. With wisdom. With clarity. If I could go back to my wedding day, I would take the face of that woman in my hands, look her in the eyes, and say: You don’t have to do this. You’re allowed to wait. Your life will not fall apart if you choose to pause.

At the time, I believed in timelines, in certainty, in doing what seemed right. And for a while, it did feel right. That’s the paradox of love. Something can feel true for a season — and still not be meant for the long haul.

Do I regret the marriage? No. Because that relationship was my teacher. It shaped me. It cracked me open. It brought me here, with you. But if sharing what I’ve learned can prevent someone else from walking into a lifelong commitment from a place of fear or fantasy, then the experience serves a new kind of purpose.

So here are five things I wish I knew before marrying the person who ultimately wasn’t right for me — and maybe wasn’t right for himself either.