My God, you could have written this me. First relationship post-divorce, swept away in pure bliss, insecurities started to show at month 3, then he couldn't do us anymore. We were then in a weird cycle of friendship, that just wasn't friendship. Boundaries were crossed, I was crushed, the cycle continued until now. What a life lesson x
I think this article is great advice. However, I am seriously curious about this: with soooo many men being unhealthy, emotionally, one way or another, how are we to simply discard these otherwise good men, in search of the very rare specimen that is stable? Where, when, how can we hold space for men who are in the process of healing and evolving, v just writing off the otherwise lovely people? I would like to learn about holding space for one another while imperfect while maintaining necessary boundaries.
This is my big fear. I haven't felt the desire to be in a relationship since my last really awful one ended. I missed every flag. Reading this, it was so familiar and there is some comfort in being able to see the same flags that Jillian points out so beautifully.
It has been revelations for me that old sayings are so true. Actions speak louder than words. When someone tells you who they are (especially at the start), believe them.
I love the gentle way you approached this Jillian, thank you. So glad I found your work!
Jillian, I absolutely love the way you articulate your thoughts and opinions. It’s such a joy to read your words.
What I love most, however, is the graceful way you communicate your firm truths, always wrapped in a layer of such warmth and compassion. I can’t wait to read your book!
Curious if anybody relates to the other side of this story? And, Jillian, if you have advice if you do see more reflection of yourself in the avoidant partner side here?
I'm with you here - nobody is 100% healed and never triggered. I don't think I have the answer to your question, but I would like to practice being supportive of humans having human reactions... instead of taking everything personally and canceling them.
My God, you could have written this me. First relationship post-divorce, swept away in pure bliss, insecurities started to show at month 3, then he couldn't do us anymore. We were then in a weird cycle of friendship, that just wasn't friendship. Boundaries were crossed, I was crushed, the cycle continued until now. What a life lesson x
I think this article is great advice. However, I am seriously curious about this: with soooo many men being unhealthy, emotionally, one way or another, how are we to simply discard these otherwise good men, in search of the very rare specimen that is stable? Where, when, how can we hold space for men who are in the process of healing and evolving, v just writing off the otherwise lovely people? I would like to learn about holding space for one another while imperfect while maintaining necessary boundaries.
This is my big fear. I haven't felt the desire to be in a relationship since my last really awful one ended. I missed every flag. Reading this, it was so familiar and there is some comfort in being able to see the same flags that Jillian points out so beautifully.
It has been revelations for me that old sayings are so true. Actions speak louder than words. When someone tells you who they are (especially at the start), believe them.
I love the gentle way you approached this Jillian, thank you. So glad I found your work!
Wow thank you for this post. Therapy is good for my soul right now. I appreciate you Jillian and helping me heal.
Jillian, I absolutely love the way you articulate your thoughts and opinions. It’s such a joy to read your words.
What I love most, however, is the graceful way you communicate your firm truths, always wrapped in a layer of such warmth and compassion. I can’t wait to read your book!
Wow! So good to read 🙏
Curious if anybody relates to the other side of this story? And, Jillian, if you have advice if you do see more reflection of yourself in the avoidant partner side here?
I'm with you here - nobody is 100% healed and never triggered. I don't think I have the answer to your question, but I would like to practice being supportive of humans having human reactions... instead of taking everything personally and canceling them.