I love how you define the “right” partner, it mirrors the kind of partner I work to be in relationship.
When we show up centered in open hearts, with curiosity toward ourselves and our partner, with a commitment to growth and evolution we give our relationship a chance to flourish. That being said, I’d add a 4th false belief.
“With the right person it will be easy”. This is simply not true. Relationships built on honesty, vulnerability…realness…can be challenging at times, there will be conflict/and rubs due to the authenticity. The “hard” is an invitation to love and be loved deeper, to go past your edges. This can be a tough journey but it shouldn’t be suffering.
Great article, thank you Jillian. I really needed to read this at this time. I’m having a break now from my fiancé.
He is a lovely guy but with a complex life. He was in a very toxic, unhealthy and unhappy relationship for 20 years, and for the last 10 he was a single parent of an autistic child, because his partner at the time just decided to focus on herself to become a bodybuilder and participate in biking competitions, spending a lot of money, that she didn’t make, in bikinis, trainers, supplements, etc.
We met at our photography club, I knew he was married, didn’t know all the drama, so I wasn’t interested in him. We started working on a photography project together and felt a connection, he decided to leave that relationship, and in 5 weeks was leaving in a new place, and it was then when we started our relationship. In reality we didn’t know each other and it was a big mistake, I should have known better 🙄
The first year was ok, but then I started to notice somethings that I didn’t like, and started questioning things. I became very unhappy because I didn’t know what I was getting into and didn’t like what I found. He used to say that he was tired of being a doormat, but he never set any boundaries, so everyone took advantage of him, and he let them. It wasn’t pleasant to witness.
I became the worst version of myself, and I wanted to leave. He was always the victim and didn’t take responsibility. He was totally lost and confused and not interested in growing, in reality he didn’t know how. I tried to help but it was worse.
So, after another episode of lack of anger management and I big fight, I decided to leave.
He is more aware now and trying to improve himself and work on himself, something totally new to him.
He wants us to be back, I think we have potential, but I don’t want to live just based on potential that may never become a reality.
And suggestions?
Thanks for your input and what you put in the world.
I love how you define the “right” partner, it mirrors the kind of partner I work to be in relationship.
When we show up centered in open hearts, with curiosity toward ourselves and our partner, with a commitment to growth and evolution we give our relationship a chance to flourish. That being said, I’d add a 4th false belief.
“With the right person it will be easy”. This is simply not true. Relationships built on honesty, vulnerability…realness…can be challenging at times, there will be conflict/and rubs due to the authenticity. The “hard” is an invitation to love and be loved deeper, to go past your edges. This can be a tough journey but it shouldn’t be suffering.
Great article, thank you Jillian. I really needed to read this at this time. I’m having a break now from my fiancé.
He is a lovely guy but with a complex life. He was in a very toxic, unhealthy and unhappy relationship for 20 years, and for the last 10 he was a single parent of an autistic child, because his partner at the time just decided to focus on herself to become a bodybuilder and participate in biking competitions, spending a lot of money, that she didn’t make, in bikinis, trainers, supplements, etc.
We met at our photography club, I knew he was married, didn’t know all the drama, so I wasn’t interested in him. We started working on a photography project together and felt a connection, he decided to leave that relationship, and in 5 weeks was leaving in a new place, and it was then when we started our relationship. In reality we didn’t know each other and it was a big mistake, I should have known better 🙄
The first year was ok, but then I started to notice somethings that I didn’t like, and started questioning things. I became very unhappy because I didn’t know what I was getting into and didn’t like what I found. He used to say that he was tired of being a doormat, but he never set any boundaries, so everyone took advantage of him, and he let them. It wasn’t pleasant to witness.
I became the worst version of myself, and I wanted to leave. He was always the victim and didn’t take responsibility. He was totally lost and confused and not interested in growing, in reality he didn’t know how. I tried to help but it was worse.
So, after another episode of lack of anger management and I big fight, I decided to leave.
He is more aware now and trying to improve himself and work on himself, something totally new to him.
He wants us to be back, I think we have potential, but I don’t want to live just based on potential that may never become a reality.
And suggestions?
Thanks for your input and what you put in the world.
Carolina